I'm going to jail i love you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
