Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
