East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i now understand why vodka
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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