Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
