I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
