she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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