We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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