Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
