Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
