I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
