I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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