i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
