you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
