mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
