You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
