Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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