I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
