i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize