He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
