Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
