Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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