OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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