I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
