Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
