Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just gargled with NyQuil
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
