Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
