woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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