I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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