Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize