So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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