Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize