I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
