Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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