So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize