Where is the hickey?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
