Moan for me like Helen Keller
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
