I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
