Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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