hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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