i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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