She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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