there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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