I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
