You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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