Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.

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(949): View more from California

Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut

(714): View more from California

I think mark twain said that originally

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(720): View more from Colorado

This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(702): View more from Nevada

Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry

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(305): View more from Florida

I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.

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(707): View more from California

He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.

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