the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
