I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one