Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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(989): View more from Michigan

you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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(519): View more from Ontario

I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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(443): View more from Maryland

You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(870): View more from Arkansas

We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

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(313): View more from Michigan

My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting

(978): View more from Massachusetts

In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you

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(256): View more from Alabama

I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

You don't have a cat...

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