She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize