Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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