The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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