I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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