Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
