He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
