it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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