i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
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I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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