Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
