I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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