Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
