I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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