remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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