..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
