I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
