Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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