Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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