It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize